How to Fix the Cat (der Kater)

This being the very first day of the New Year 2017, it is appropriate in my state -- and that of Millionen of others out there -- to write about how to fix a hangover. This sickly state is termed Kater ("tomcat") in German, which makes sense, because one feels as if they've wrestled with a tomcat after a night on the town.

Germans supposedly enjoy a Katerfrühstück after drinking too much. This consists of herring, pickles and goulash. If I had to eat herring for breakfast, it may appease the cat, but my stomach would be flipping, because I can't eat herring sober.

Once I read that the best way to not feel the symptoms of a hangover is to not drink alcohol. Well, there you have it. No need to read further.

But wait! Drinking alcohol can be quite fun! However, if you wanna play, you gotta pay, unless you take some preventive steps, like eating a good meal before you drink, sipping lots of water in between alcohol schlucken, and not drinking to excess.

If you didn't follow all or any of those clever imbibing guidelines, you may have a hangover. Mine isn't bad today, because I stuck to Schmucker Bier with intermittent sips of my Bischofsberger Williams brandy, a very special Christmas Geschenk from some very special people. I had a large meal before I began drinking -- Greek food -- and at the end I drank 2.5 shots of ouzo, but that was just to get the party started. If my hangover, Kopfschmerzen, nausea, and general unrest were worse, I couldn't sit up to write this.

I won't tell you how to cure a hangover, because I think the only cure is time. Rather, you may learn how to feel better after drinking too much.

So, how to fix a hangover?

1. Drink water when you wake up from your passed-out state. Try to chew on a couple of children's aspirin before going back to sleep. More sleep is optional but always a good idea when you're ill.

2. Eat eine Brezel, something salty and bread-like, to get your stomach in line. Pretzels cure everything. Tacos, like pretzels, are also a great hangover food. Fortunately, we are in Deutschland, und es gibt plenty of pretzels; sadly, mexikanisches Essen is hard to come by.

3. Drink a small glass of Cola or Limonade. This will help your tummy as well. Now you can rülpsen. Ahhhhh.

4. Try to go back to sleep, but if you can't, I recommend taking a shower. This will help your body "rinse off" some of the alcohol that is in your skin. I find that a dunk in a cold pool or eine heiße Dusche makes the head feel better.

5. Take a walk outside in fresh air, if you can. This gets the fix working more quickly than anything else.

6. Hug someone you love. Hold on tight, for at least 30 seconds. Hugs cure everything. (If you're an adult, you can do more than hug.)

That's it. Eine gute Besserung!

Happy New Year and Best Wishes for 2017.

Wörterbuch / Dictionary

es gibt - there is, there are

(die) Cola - cola, Coke, Pepsi, caramel-colored flavored soda

eine gute Besserung - get well soon

eine heiße Dusche - a hot shower

(das) Geschenk - gift, present

(der) Kater - tomcat or hangover

(die) Kopfschmerzen - headache